Malaprop McGrumpypants

For reasons that I wish not to discuss here, I’m having a crap week. So, my patience is low and my ability to do things like spell patience and remember where Kinkos is has lessened.  I also swear a lot in this because I’m angry and upset.

The exciting part of my day was when I went with my mom to Kaiser’s pharmacy to pick up my grandma’s meds.  I saw a guy who looked like Santa’s delinquent son, palm 2 boxes of nyquil without even really looking at what it was. Then he sat down on the chairs behind a stand and I really couldn’t see. I looked away. Those boxes disappeared.  Then he went back, palmed two more boxes and sat down.

I told the pharmacist about what was happening; I said I didn’t want to falsely accuse anyone of anything.  She told me that they had security and told someone to keep an eye out.  Generally, it’s the same people who come to steal. I turned around and watched him put the boxes into a space I couldn’t see.  I assumed it was the bag I saw when I went over to the shelf to be a snoop.

I want to tell you at this point in time that I felt really sneaky and cool, like some bad-ass undercover cop on a drug raid.  The truth of it was that he just a terrible addict who didn’t give a rat’s ass who was watching, and the people around him didn’t care what he was doing either.  

The pharmacist thanked me.  My mom and I walked outside.  Since it was dark, he couldn’t see us through the door.  It was like looking into a fish bowl.  He got up and bagged three more boxes.  I yelled at my mom “HE DID IT AGAIN! WHAT THE FUCK!?”

My mom decided to go in and tell the pharmacist since we had seen him put it into the bag in plain view.  As she walked in and he got up in a hurry for the door and leaves. So what do I do? I yell,”HEY!” *ignore* “EXCUSE ME!!”

“WHU-?!”

“I SAW WHAT YOU DID” My eyes wide.  I could feel a facial expression that was common to my mom- a mixture of intimidating rage. I was just pissed at the world and I saw my perfect opportunity to unleash it.

“What did I do?” 

“I saw you put the medicine in your bag.  It’s not yours!”

“What do you want me to do?! do you want me to give it back?” He said like a smart-ass.  He reached into his black stuff-bag.  For a moment I thought, “Oh great. He has a gun. Fuck my life. I’m going to be shot by some pinked-faced fat asshole in an army jacket because I decided that I was a good person to confront the addict dick-head.”  But I wasn’t scared of being shot, it just felt more like an inconvenience. I was doing the right thing, and I didn’t care what the fucktard did.  But then two rent-a-cops came through the door.

Son of Santa pulled something out and through it. OMG a bomb! No, Thera-flu. The rent-a-cops were so distracted by the medicine that the fat-ass got away. They didn’t even run after him.  A third one came out and called it in.  My mom and I left.  We tried to warn them.

So here is the rant:

What the fuck is the god-damned point of having security at a pharmacy if they aren’t gonna do a god-damned thing? They had time to confront him way before he bagged his second batch.  Why didn’t they run after him and tackle is fat drunken ass? I know…they have rules.  Fuck that.  Stupid.

Also, Kaiser, I have a question for you: if you have had this problem in the past, and it’s always the same friggin’ people…WHY ISN’T THE MEDICINE BEHIND THE GOD-DAMNED COUNTER!? Long’s does it when it has to (STFU it’s Long’s not CVS so suck it, assbite). If it’s happened before, why don’t you have signs that say look out for these junkies! give a description, a photo. TELL PEOPLE TO WATCH OUT! Also….  WHY AREN’T THE GUARDS IN THE ROOM WITH THE MEDICINE?! Are they protecting the OB/GYN wing of the facitility? Gotta make sure the pap smear packets are SAFE! THERE WERE THREE OF THEM!  Do they have to stick together and hold hands. What the fuck, Kaiser…what the fuck.